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Bulgaria A Comedic Viewpoint
You know you’re In Bulgaria when: These statements are all a bit tongue in cheek but also very accurate.
The cost of your heating system is twice the price of the house and land it’s going in
“I’ll ring you back” actually means “Don’t hold your breath, I’m only saying that to get rid of you and the chances of me calling you back are about the same as you waking up tomorrow morning and being able to speak fluent Cantonese”
Tomorrow , especially when used in a conversation about services, material delivery, or an urgent request, actually means “Whenever I can be bothered to do it, probably in about a week”.......... if you are lucky.
ALL drivers must be in front of you. It’s as if they are in the final lap of a Grand Prix, in second place, and must win AT ALL COSTS, even more so if you have UK number plates.
It’s ok to drink beer for breakfast, Rakia for lunch and a gallon of some petroleum based alcohol before bed
A “no smoking” area sign in a restaurant can be turned upside down and therefore becomes a smoking table. Smoking with your right hand whilst using a fork to eat with your left is compulsory
The police radar trap says you were doing 100km an hour whilst you know you were doing 60. At this point his English becomes non existent apart from the fact he is able to say “You pay me Twenty Euros”.
The National sport in Bulgaria is “Bare faced lying”, one which, if it was an Olympic sport, they would win Gold, Silver and Bronze
It takes 40 men to dig a hole, well, actually One, but it takes 39 to stand and tell him how he should be digging it
It is cheaper to put Vodka in your car than Petrol.
Any tradesman in Bulgaria who is able to do excellent finishing works is working somewhere else in Europe earning big money. He has left behind his cousin Georgi who is good with a sledge hammer.
Skirting boards come in plastic plastic or plastic.
Don’t get close to any local animals, although they may be cute or friendly, they will eventually end up on someone’s table and that includes the horses.
Public toilets. DON’T. They were built in the 50’s and nothing has been done since. When you order in a restaurant it is recommended to order one course at a time, eat it, and order the next. If you make the mistake of ordering all your courses they will turn up in random order, not on the same plate, and probably not what you ordered anyway. Chef's cannot multi-task.
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The copyright for this content entitled "Bulgaria A Comedic Viewpoint" has been specified by the contributor as:
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This intel was contributed by muffy
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May, 2012
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